Swimming in Dark Waters.
I find myself gasping for air, kicking my legs in the water, desperately looking for a rock to stand on. I see myself hiding from the fear of allowing the water to show me a lesson, to show me my shadows.
Earlier this year I found a part of myself that had been lost for a long time, I finally felt that I landed on a rock, small but it was still there to hold me, as months went on I grew and so did the rock I stood on. But as we all know, once you start feeling too comfortable on the ground it needs to be shaken up so you will learn even more and grow.
Just before Christmas my stable rock that I was standing on got pulled away and left me swimming in the dark water..unkown..lost..scared but also forever grateful. I am on a path and the path is not just sunshine and roses, its facing what is mine to face..fears, traumas, old stories that have formed me.
If you take the time to listen to the lessons good or bad, lovely or scary, you will feel it, feel the fire inside being lit, and listening to it will turn it into something magical, into internal alchemy.
I used to be scared of the dark waters and I became an expert of finding a rock to stand on straight away, no need to listen I thought, no time for that, I need to keep moving. But today I cherish the dark water. Don’t get me wrong, I’ts scary and brings up things that might not always be what you want to deal with. But I will grow from it, learn from it and when I finally find that rock to stand on again those lessons will be with me and I will be an even brighter forest flower.